Make every moment count: How to be more present for your children

It’s the dilemma facing busy parents everywhere: how to be present for our children when we’re pulled in so many different directions. Between jobs, housework and the curveballs of everyday life, finding the time to connect with those closest to us can be a challenge. As parents to four children – Alek, Mika, Blake and Brooke – and the owners of not one, but two property businesses, Alice and Caleb Pearson know a thing or two about navigating a full life. But like everyone, they’ve had times where the balance has felt out of whack.

To counter this, throughout their parenting journey the couple have developed ways to prioritise their children and safeguard the time they have as a family. Being present – really present – takes work, but it’s something they take very seriously.

Says Caleb, “Life gets very busy and there are so many demands and distractions, but we've been quite deliberate with our time and where we place it. We’re intentional that, for us, family is a really key part of who we are and how we want to spend our time.”

They have some simple tips for remaining connected amidst the chaos. For Caleb, it’s about ensuring he’s giving his family his full attention when he’s not at work. Work is left behind at the end of each day and phones are either switched to Do Not Disturb mode or put into a drawer out of sight. It’s important to Caleb that his children know they have their dad’s full attention.

“To me, being present with our kids means I’m not being distracted or my mind is not elsewhere. I want them to feel secure and know I’m there to spend time with them. I think when you have limited time with your children, it’s important they know that half-hour at night – or whatever it is – is for them.”

Alice also limits her phone use around the children, having read that even just knowing a parent has a device in the room can heighten a child’s anxiety. Having her phone out of sight also helps her own stress levels, ensuring she’s not distracted by emails or work worries while spending time with the kids. This, in turn, makes her feel in control.

“When I’m feeling more in control and when I’m feeling happier in myself, the kids pick up on that big time. They know that I’m there for them and I’m giving them my best self.”

Alice believes consistent routines and rituals help children feel grounded and safe. Whether it’s dinner around the table together each night, reading a book in bed before saying goodnight, going on outdoor adventures, playing board games or sharing pancakes on the weekend, quality time does not have to mean grand gestures.

“For your kids, having a home where they feel safe and seen and loved is incredibly important, and when you’re intentional with your time you create that atmosphere in your home.

“The cuddles, the words of encouragement, time spent reading a book – it’s the little things that make a big difference.”